5 Things I Learned From...The Kennedy mini-series

1) Jackie Kennedy was actually Katie Holmes this entire time!

2) Apparently there is a thing called Reelz Channel.

3) While written and produced by some of the people from 24, David Palmer was not the President at any point in the early 60s.

4) If JFK had lost the election, Joe Kennedy would "let" Jackie get a divorce. Because you could do that then.

5) Pills::60s as Tic Tacs::90s

5 Things I Learned From...Battle: Los Angeles

Welcome to the new feature of my blog. Periodically I'll be reviewing life lessons I learned from popular movies and TV shows.

To kick it off, I'd like to start with...

5 Things I Learned From...Battle: Los Angeles

1) Apparently due to budget cuts, there was no tripod available for the filmmakers to rent

2) If you run on the beach and are passed by other people, then you are old.

3) When you announce to your superior officer that you are retiring form the military, they will promptly respond with all the medals you've earned in your career.

4) Like real-life Angelenos, the characters would rather fight off aliens and wait for a ride than simply walk to the safe zone.

5) A character who announces they are a Veterinarian will automatically know where the kill spot is for an alien.

Tune in for fairly frequent updates of things I'm learning!

"George Lopez" Applause Sign Grateful For a Job

As Conan O'Brien settles into his new home on TBS, many are looking at the effect he's having on the show following him, The George Lopez Show.

One staff member of the show doesn't care about ratings, just getting a break.

"I've been working non-stop," says the show's beleaguered Applause Sign.

The sign says that he gets used up to 500 times during each episode, an all time record in his three-plus decades in the industry.

"I thought it was bad when I worked for the Tony Danza Show," he said. "Turns out the 'Boss' was nothing compared to this."

While the sign admits that Lopez is nothing but kind to him and that in this economy he's happy for the work, enough is enough.

"Sometimes they'll do a bit or interview Wanda Sykes and they'll push my button while I'm still getting applause from the last line!"

Such over use is common in shows. Many applause signs end up getting burnt out and retiring from the business. Shows that have had this effect on their applause sign include: the Mike and Maty Show (1994-1996), The Magic Johnson Show (1998) and the first incarnation of the Wanda Williams Show (2009). Those applause signs all moved out of town and have not been working in the industry since.

For the George Lopez Applause Sign though, he considers himself a pro and doesn't get phased easily.

"For me, there is no option to retire. I remember 1998. It was the height of the Lewinsky Scandal and talk shows everywhere were hitting their applause signs. If you can make it through a year like '98 with just a few burnt out bulbs, then you can make it through anything."

While the long term fate of the George Lopez Show has yet to be decided, for the Applause Sign, he'll keep doing his thing and leave the ratings to executives.

"All I can do is hang above the audience day after day, keep my bulbs clean and make sure I'm ready for next Gordon Ramsey cooking segment," the Sign says.

When asked for his plans for the show's upcoming break, the Sign says he has simple plans.

"I'll probably just do some chores around the house. My wife has to work. She's the Applause Sign for the Charlie Rose Show, so she's got it pretty easy," the sign chuckles to himself. "Boy, what I wouldn't give to not have to light up for Jack Hannah every 15 seconds for one night of being on standby in case a leading political or cultural figure of the day needed applause. Charlie Rose. Must be nice."

Julie and Julia

Just watched Julie and Julia and it reminded me that I have a Blogspot account. Hello Blogspot.

Whereas Amy Adams' character cooked 500+ recipes in 365 days, I'm vowing to eat 500+ meals in 365 days. Am I up for the challenge? If Nora Ephron is to believed, not only will this make me a better person, but my marriage will be stronger AND Julia Child will eventually read this blog.

Okay, I'm working on the first two. Julia Child...your move.

Gas Price Solution

As I take a look at Hillary's "Gas Tax Holiday," its clear that it's arguably the dumbest "solution" to a problem ever. Even an article in the Wall Street Journal (Rupert Murdoch's pro-capitalism rag), quoted an economist as saying:

<<"The gas price break scheme is stupid," said Mark Nielson of MacroEcon Global Advisors.>>

It occurs to me that there may be a more simple solution.

Remember when gas stations offered different prices if you paid cash or credit? What if the Bush Administration lobbied the gas companies to return to this policy. Okay, the idea of the Bush administration doing that is laughable, but perhaps the Obama administration would be interested. Anyway, imagine a gas sign that reads:

Cash: $3.89.

Credit: $3.99

The theory is that the extra ten cents the gas company charges you is to cover the fee credit card companies issue. Essentially, you are asking the company to pass along their savings from not having a credit card fee to the consumers. 

Not only does this save just as much money as eliminating the gas tax, but it also will encourage Americans to live within their means and not further enter debt by charging their gas purchase.

Realizing that Bush is in the pockets of the oil companies AND credit card companies makes this a tall order...but could it work if someone who wasn't corrupt occupied 1600 Pennsylvania?

ABC Special

Okay, I hate blogs. I  mean I don't hate them...some are very useful (http://www.insidesocal.com/kings is a good source for LA Kings info...okay the only source for LA Kings info), but most are blah. But, since I have a blog now, I feel like I should populate it and as it just so happens I felt compelled to write about what I just saw on ABC and I had no other forum for my anger since Kelly is out tonight. Alas, you'll have to suffer in her absence.

So I Tivo'd this ABC special about secret messages Michaelangelo may have hidden about religion in the Sistine Chapel. Anti-religious messages blatantly on display in a church? Count me in! 

Anywho, as I was Tivoing through I see a "Viewer Discretion Advised" warning. I rewind because I can't wait to see what's so controversial. Is there some long lost interview with Michaelangelo where he drops the f' bomb or perhaps Michaelangelo going to church with Reverend Wright? Nope. The warning read as follows:

Viewer Discretion Advised. This program contains Renaissance Art images that depict nudity. 

IS THIS A JOKE?!?! I mean seriously. Are we sooooo beholden to the FCC and the lunatics on the Right that we have a warning about this? It's culture people. The depiction of nudity in art is just that...art...culture...whatever you want to call it. Anyone who is so ignorant to complain about nudity in a Michaelangelo painting is an idiot and should have their television taken away from them. 

What's next? Ratings at museums?

 "I'd love to take my child to the Degas exhibit, but it's rated PG-13 and I'm afraid those tutus on the ballerinas are too revealing." 

OR

"That Dali painting is rated NC-17. I will not expose my child to this! Now if you'll excuse me, the family is sitting down to watch CSI."

In a country where John Kerry was too educated to vote for or Barack Obama is too elitist because he can't bowl, do we really need to further go down this road of cultural ignorance to the point of this mild form of censorship? 

The irony is, the last segment of the special was about how when Michaelangelo finished the painting, parts of it were so graphic that some (see: Catholic Church) want the nudity covered up. A compromise was reached and years later clothes were painted on them. It wasn't until a restoration centuries later that the clothes were removed and returned to how Michaelangelo intended them. Can you imagine a politician covering up nudity today. Oh wait, John Ashcroft did it. 

Why not drop ABC a line and let them know what you think. Only, not that they showed nudity, but that they insulted our intelligence by having that warning. They can be reached at:

http://abc.go.com/contactus.html?id=ABCCOMGlobalFooter&lpos=CONTACT

My First Blog

Okay people. It's go time. So many people have said to me "Benjamin...why don't you have a blog? You're charming, funny and I'd really like to hear your opinion." Okay, the only person to actually say that was my dog Mufasa and I'm 100% sure he can't really talk and that I made this whole thing up. In any event, it is my plan to post on this blog when something pops into my head or if  notice something in the world of entertainment, sports, politics that catches my fancy. So, in the immortal words of Mufasa, "here goes nothing."